The life I am living currently.

Nothing much to update recently, still the usuals; work, home, outing, clubbing at times.


Talking about clubbing, I really love my new clubbing kakis. Eventhough it is just 4 of us always; Lincoln, Ann, Kian and me, we always never fail to have damn lots of fun.

Ann & Kian are a couple, so Kian is usually Ann's guardian. Lincoln is my bestie, so he's usually my guardian. Ann usually plays evil big sister, so she makes me drink then attempts to take care of me after we both get drunk.

So imagine seeing this 4 people in club, I would laugh my ass off too with the cute sight. Especially when Ann clubs as protective as me, meaning that we don't like to know random people, and we just stick to our own clique. That makes us the group of "dao" clubbers- as I would always put it across to others.

I may club more often than before, now that I have no relationship to occupy my time. Other than that, I catch movies really very often as compared to before with my movie kaki; Nick, and the rest of my other times are meeting up my cousins sometimes for a meal, activity or clubbing as well.


Life is stagnant in a way that I am now free to do whatever I like, whenever I like without obligations to any other persons except my conscience.


However, I still think I fit a life being in a relationship better. It may be partly because I have majority of my life been in one, but it is also because I love to feel love and be in love.

Quarrels and disagreements are part and parcel of a relationship, and I see them positively as opportunities to strengthen the love after a couple clears and comes to a mutual agreement. After so many years in relationships, I have also come to a point where I know myself and my criterias so well that it scares me not being able to find one that would fit those bills.

Yes there are major must-haves for me, and many minors good-to-haves too. I also know there isn't any Mr Perfect in the world.

And I know talking more about this scares the shit out of me too, because what if I remain single till I die? Well, we never know. As hard as I try, I am having great difficulty unloving my ex-boyfriend. I may never find someone good enough to captivate my heart and commitment, or I may never have the courage to pursue another relationship anymore. Who the hell knows.



For now, this is just me- single and utterly complicated.