Acceptance; onward march!

I read a really meaningful book just these few days.. and it taught me alot of things about true love.

Together with what my friend had advise me, I intend now to let go of all my hatred and hurt against my ex.

Indeed, he could be my true love, or he could not.

I know I would gladly die for him without any qualms, change for him just to grow old with him in this life, starve with him even if he goes broke, love him still whether he has money or not.


Yet, as my friend places it, if he was really my true love, would my true love keep hurting me over and over again?


He hurt me when he wage our first cold war with me, which led to our first breakup.

He hurt me when he decided to write a letter to break up with me, that was our second.

He hurt me when he decided to like and start a relationship my ex bestie, which was utterly the most hurtful thing in my 23 years of age at that time.

He hurt me when I asked if he loved me, a simple yes/no question, and he replied instead that "we had to work on our relationship".

He hurt me when he decided to just stay as friends because he is scared of relationships. (How do you FRIEND your ex who you love so much?!)


If he's scared, I should be petrified of relationships now.

So many backlashes, yet I was still unwilling to give up until the final "lets be friends" issue.

And can you believe I STILL LOVE HIM AS MUCH UP TILL NOW.

Omg.

It's like my love for him is endless. Sometimes I amaze myself too.

So is he my true love, tell me?

I don't know.

What I do know is that all my previous said things I would do for him still applies. And it will apply until the day it graduately dies away.



I love you El Chong. But if you have to go, I will let you go.

That is the least I could do.

To me, so long as there is still love, there will be a way. Since your love for me does not let you feel the same vice versa as what I do for you, then I cannot force things on you too.

I will move on with the wonderful memories we'd shared.

Maybe years later you decide to show up to love me again, or, maybe years later we'd both found other people to love.. we never know.

All I understand is that since you are moving on finely, that I am also ready to move on now.

Thank you.