Materialistic?

I've met someone "special" this time round.

I met a colleague, who shared with me on her marriage and problems. Knowing that I was single, she forewarn me to marry a "rich men". To her, an older rich men, is what every girl should find.

She then told me her experience with her husband. They dated for 7 years before getting married and have been married for 3 more.

Recently they were planning for a baby, but things hadn't been going smoothly.

Because of financial disagreements, she has pondered on leaving him because of problems in their baby plans. She told me that she was going to quit if they were going to have a baby (to take advantage of the market's 4 month maternity leave). However, they had had arguements because she finds that he did not want to support her financially enough if she were to quit and get a office job that pays about $2k after CPF. Her comfortable rate was about $3k/mth, and she was expecting him to at least give her additions to meet that amount.

Her husband is a stockbroker whose income could easily reach close to 10k/mth, and his reasoning for not wanting to pay her any amount was because his income had not been good starting from this year.

On top of her baby allowance that she wanted, she also admitted to me she was a materialistic girl who loves shopping and branded stuff. She's constantly comparing herself to her ex-school mates who were staying in landed properties (she stays in a HDB) and people who carried Hermes and Chanels.

And so the whole time, she was going on about how disgrunted she was financially, how she and her husband could not stand each other, and how much she envied other richer people.

Then it occured to me, how I wished my ex knew this girl.


It is because we do not meet that many variety of people that people tend not to appreciate what is before us. We humans are judgemental and very critical.

And just because I had started working, and started liking slightly more branded stuffs, I was once labelled materialistic. Till today, it still greatly bugs me on how misunderstood I am.


I mean I know for a fact that in everyone of us; whether male or female; we have a materialistic side to us. For guys, it's usually cars and gadgets. And to girls, its bags, shoes and clothes. Tell me, which girl doesn't like pretty things? From pretty barbie dolls when we were young, to pretty handbags when we are older- is it wrong?

I personally don't feel that it is a BAD thing to like branded stuffs. The only difference is how much one values and strives for it. There are people who craves so badly for them that they are willing to forgo other necessities like food and savings just so that they could own the latest design in town, and everything about their lives revolves around the brands and their looks. Yet there are people who indulge themselves once awhile when they feel they could afford to. I believe I belong to the latter.

Yet, does belonging to the latter mean that we are labelled equally to the former group of materialistics?


If guys wanted girls who were so simple that no materialistic cravings came into their minds, shouldn't they try for nuns instead?

And I'm not gunning down real materialistic girls over here. I'm sure that there are guys who likes materialistic girls too, because they may share same values in life. There's always someone fitted for another in this world, no matter how fat/ugly/hot tempered/stubborn/etc you are.



In any case, meeting this girl really has broaden my perspective on life again.

One for a fact is that, I know for sure that I would never ever think of leaving my husband if he could not give me shopping money next time. I will only, if I ever were to, marry because of LOVE, and being the most supportive partner as I can be would be what I would give, even if it has to mean that I have to sacrifice on my shopping treats.

And then, some people will rebuke me saying, "you cannot survive on love alone". That I would have to comment that if you love greatly enough, you would both be working partners in life. And partners meant supporting one another in EVERYTHING, including financially, mentally and spiritually.

There so much more I could go on about my philosophies in love, but that is something only few really know and admire me for. Even I have to admire myself sometimes.


Yet since I am single now, of course I would want to pamper myself first before having a family. Would you want to wait till you had a family, ridden with debts by housing loans and car payments, before you blame yourself of not having the chance to pamper yourself?

I would definitely start saving even more in future if I had to pay for a house. But not so much right now when I don't even have a boyfriend to begin with.


Secondly, I hate it when people look down on HDB-dwellers. I have had a ex-friend who once told me that she was so embarassed of having to downgrade from a condo to her HDB just because her dad could no longer afford the maintenance. The thought of her remark really discusts me till today.

What is wrong with staying in a HDB anyway? What's with these people acting so atas and looking down on most of the Singaporeans who lives in these estates?

I personally know of people who are cash-rich and staying in HDB flats, and there are people who are cash-poor and financially burdened by their private estates/condos. And lets not go on to those filthy rich. They have their rich problems too, I'll bet.

So, is money really thaaaaat important?

I feel family and health always comes first before career and money.

No point being so rich, yet having fake friends around you who would leave you the moment you get poor. Or that all you earn goes into your future medical bill solely to be blamed on your younger days when you work too hard and did not take care of your own body. It's so real,so common and so sad in this world, that people just judge and like you for what job you hold, what clothes you wear and how much cash is in your pocket.

Even more annoying than people who view money as #1, is people who ACT like they have money so that people can be impressed with them. Yuck.


And thirdly, I know for sure; thanks to meeting this colleague of mine; that I am definitely NOT a very materialistic girl. I'm just one of the common girl next door that loves to indulge themselves once in awhile to feel satisfied.


But hey, this is just my own personal opinion.

Why I am just so bothered by this issue is because I had once been wrongly judge as being materialistic, when I could have easily said I would be the last person standing even if my ex were poor, without a job or even sick for life.

I guess I'm just too loyal for my own good, or it could simply be true love on my silly part.





I'm curious to see how long I take to recover though.

I've always heard of people who takes years to recover, or quicker when they meet someone really special. We'll see.

/edit

I guess, one reason why it's so hard to let go, it's because deep inside, eventhough I've seen the drastic change in him and he is no longer who I once fell in love with, I still hold on to the believe that the core of what I'd love about him is still there.

And maybe the second reason is because I don't have a clear sign from him- yet.